Transcript for "Courting & marriage"

Okay, ese ndi Christopher Wanyama.

I am Christopher Wanyama.

Ndikhombola khumbakha eye khuselela ne khubeya sikhale.

I am going to tell a story about courting and marriage in the old days.

Khale seyabechanga bali ocha nobukula busa omwana we omundu tawe.

It was not just going and taking someone's child.

Yabechanga mayi woo ocha wamubolela oli, “Mayi ese mbone omundu fulani, omukhana fulani wa fulani.”

It used to be that your mother, you would go and tell her that you saw the daughter of so and so.

Mala mayi woo kakhureba ali, “Omwenyile?” Oli, “Eeh.” Narekukha acha.

Then your mother would ask "did you like her?" she will then leave.

Nacha nabolela owasie basakwawe yuno ali, “Basakwa, namwe yaya, ese nabirire ano mala nabonao kumwini.

She will go and tell the future in-law that she passed by and saw a hoe-wooden stick (a girl).

Mala ndi nende embako.

I saw a hoe handle and I have the hoe.

Bele nekombile umbe mala nje khwikhekho.”

I would wish that I can go and fix it.

Noyo abola ali, “Awase ano?” Oyo ali,“Yeeh, kulio.”

The girl's parent would wonder but the boy's parent would assure him/her of it.

Basi mala bakachule kakabwe ngabamanyile.

They will then discuss to their understanding.

Ne ayukhayo nacha abolela rarao nono.

She will go back and tell the father (husband).

Naba rarao naye akhuruma chisaa cha saa mbili oche ewabwe mukhana mala sowola mungo ta, omusoleli nono.

Then your father would send you around 8pm, the father would tell you to go over but not to reach the girls' home, the boy now.

Mala onine khumusala angaki kuli embi ne mungo omwomwo mala kuliembi nende bulime bwabwe.

You were to climb on the tallest tree near their home and close to their farm.

Mala olole masalao nende omukhasi woo niye onenyanga oyoyo basamule.

Then look at your future mother in-law and wife while they will be in the farm.

Ololelele khulima khwabwe nge balima mpaka nge banalota.

You were to observe how they cultivate until they go home.

Mala oyile engo lichibu khubasasi obole oli balimilenge bari ne omukhaye wange kapilenge embako ari.

Then you would take the report home on how they were cultivating and explain how your future wife was doing it.

Ne ngakapilenge ario embako basasi babene banalola bali omulimi namwe sali omulimi tawe.

The parents will determine whether she is a good farmer or not.

Khubela bengile mubindu ebiebyo khale kamakhua ke chikhafu nende binanu sebyabechangao ta.

Because in the old days there were no issues to do with the cows.

Kabechanga kamarome mala noyilile omukhasi omwene kapa rirome erio mala karao bulo, karao kamaemba, karao kumuoko, chikhanu.

There was virgin land and when you marry, your wife would cultivate it herself then plant millet, sorghum and cassava and simsim.

Nono kaba bali socha khumucheka ekhulima ta selinyalikhana ta.

It was not possible if you did not check on her while in the farm.

Omukhana yuno nelinaba mbo nekalikario kanyalikhana naba nono papa woo akhubolela ali, “Ne omanyile esebele yabwe?”

This girl, if it is possible then your father would ask if you know their stream where they fetch water.

Abole ali, “Esebele eli aundu fulani.”

The boy will say where the stream is.

Baisi nocha olola basoleli be kamani nga nemukendanga barano.

You will then go and look for five strong men among your friends.

Ne ewewe mucha mwikhala, mubukula esiku busa enamba khucha khwikhala siasebele eyeyo.

Then you will take a whole day and sit at the stream.

Nga nemwikhala siasebele eyeyo enywenywe mulinda.

You would wait from the stream.

Nga nemulinda munabonabakhana bano nebali babili nebali bataru sikila khale sebakendanga bali mulala ta.

You would see a group of five girls because in the old days one girl would not walk alone.

Mala lundi babechanga bandu bakhulu sebabechanga babana ta.

They used to be mature people and not children.

Yesi niba bali waba sa omwangu somukhula ta.

If you were weak, you would not lift her.

Nisio sikila abolele babasie bali, “Birakhuche."

That is why she will tell her friends to accompany her.

Nono nga nekola nende kumupira sekamanyile mbo kano kanatokea kariena ta nge kola musebele ne basoleli mumuolakho, nobola oli, “Yuno.”

When she arrives with the jerrycan, she will not be aware of what will happen but the boys will approach her as soon as she arrives, you would say, "this one."

Ne basoleli batila.

The boys will take her.

Nono bano nibo banacha engo babole bali, “Efwe khuchile nende fulani mala basoleli fulani bechile bakhwesa fulani bacha nenaye.”

So the other girls would go home and report how the girl was taken by certain boys.

Sebanamala bararawe lundi balomekhomo tawe, bararawe banamanyasa sa balindi aba nono kakecha kalomekhanaakako.

The uncles will not complain because they will understand from the discussion which was held.

Okhwokho nikhwo khwabechanga khuselela khwe khale ne khubeya, nga nokhwesa nowosia engo ne aba wamalile wabeisie.

That was traditional courting, the moment you forcefully take her home, it was regarded as marriage.

Basi nebamalile bola engo nono papa wo mukhana kamanya mbo omwana wase ali wa fulani karuranga naye yesi mukhucheka khumanya mbo lisibayi liewe liengo yani aba niyo ekhafu eli kiasi si.

Then when they get home, the daughters' father will know that, he will also go out to confirm where his daughter was, his favorite person, that is like his cow, how much it weighs.

Kachichanga niyo banywesia, areba. Areba ali.

He would go to where their cattle drink water and ask.

“Ne anywesianga waena omundu fulani?"

He would ask where the boys' family cattle drink from.

Bamulaka bali, “Tawe anywesianga aundu fulani.” “Kayanga waena? Ne chikhafu chewe ndala sina chilikhomo?” Bamubolela, mala achimanya lukondo.

Someone would direct him where they drink from. He would ask where he grazes the cows and which were his cows and how they looked like.

Mala amanya lifubukho nilio chikhafu chino chicha khunywamo.

He will know the place where the cows would drink from.

Ne nekecha sekecha mpaka mwifubukho ta, niye kemela etayi eyeyo khulolelela chikhafu chino ochiaya ali waena nechikhafu chino chinywa chiriena?

And when he goes at the place, he observes the cows and the cow caretaker from a distance, where he is and how the cows graze.

Chikhafu chekhale nicho bele ochiaya aba enyuma wacho chikhafu chiunua chibe enyuma wacho.

About cows in the old days, the herder would walk behind the cows and the bulls would be behind.

Nono chino nga nechinanywechanga ne chirura chilayo, ne echino chilngilamo chirura chilayo, ne chino chingilamo chirura chilayo, ne echino chingilamo mala aba sa nicho chindala.

The same cows would be drinking in turns several times.

Nono oyuno alolelela chimosi chanyoamo, bisonga biarakho, chimosoti, nga abona nono chiunua chosi chingilamo naba nono chikhafu chino chiwayo ne lundi alolelela buleyi nibwo chichile na bukali nibwo chili nenabuo.

So he will observe the calves go in first, the female ones will follow, as he would be watching the bulls go in, he would observe the distance all the cows would have taken.

Nono nga nabona bukali obwobwo basi namanya ali nono nendolelela ababo chikhafu echecho chindosia.

He would make a decision basing on the surface the cows would cover.

Wakati ye bukhwe, wakati nono niyeakalukhileyo engo naba nono papa wa omusoleli nono aba nende papa womukhana bakutana ili khumanya nono akari ao ekholo nga neli.

"Those cows will be enough for me during the dowry ceremony." The time he goes back home was when the boy's and girl's father would meet and see how the clan would be involved.

Beche bakutane balomalome khuchangia ekholo banyole mbo lubeka nende lubeka bulebe sebulio tawe.

The will meet to discuss to determine whether they were related to one another.

Basi, nemala bapanga nono khumanya mbo balikho becha kukhwana.

They will arrange on how they would come and pay the dowry.

Nono nga nebecha khukhwana khale nibo seyabechanga bali becha bekhale mala bachake khubola bali khane ndikho khwesia chikhafu chirio, ndikho khwesia chirio nge efwefwe bwakisasa ta.

Long ago they did not come and discuss on how many cows to give like we do nowadays.

Khale bele oyuno nakecha, kecha nende basoleli bosi lundi bali nende efusi, yani omundu omubofu mala niye bamanya bali embambala, nachukucha sisindu sinyala siakwa aundu fulani.

When he came, he would come with strong boys, a strong person who can even throw something that will reach very far.

Nono bulayi bwene yesi nga omusoleli ngakachagua basoleli babacha bakhwesa omukhana wewe nono yesi achagua basoleli bembambala banyala bachukucha kumusuni kuno mala kwecha kwabukula chikhafu chitosia.

The same way the boy picked strong boys to take his daughter, he would also pick strong when who would throw the arrow that will make them get enough cows.

Nono yuno esiku yekhukhwicha nga ne balomaloma enomani bamala, bang'ona bamala bulisindu ne bamubolela bali nono chikhafu choo khupa chirangire.

When the day came and the dowry negotiation were finished, when everything was done, they would give him permission to take the cows.

Nono chikhafu chino chirangira chacha oli chilikho chicha eluchi ata bacha bachiaya nga nono bachilosia eluchi ne omusoleli barusi mulala khukhwama ei ne kuma nende kumusuni.

The cows will go ahead as if they were taken to the river and then take one boy from them with an arrow

Nga nanainga kumusuni kuno namwe nanachukucha kumusuni kuno nio kunakwila nebakhala chikhafu chino chila eneno naba nono chikhafu chiskale nicho chichewe ne nicho babukule nicho chili chicha ebukhwe.

Where the arrow would fall is where they will draw a line over the cows, the remaining cows will be his, the ones taken would go to the in-laws

Subila nandi kamenako elubeka we bukhwe kabechanga kario.

I believe that was what used to happen in relation to payment of dowry.